My bedroom carpet is rough, and dirty. Plenty of tasks I could do. I sit here leaning against my bed nebulizing the baby, again. Many weeks of him sleeping in the bouncy seat to stay prone, to help reduce coughing. I think it all started October 28 with him teething, and then colds and illnesses and now another round of illnesses which the doctor thinks is RSV. I don’t remember the last time I went to church. Judah has gotten the same cold as well, but they haven’t had to put him on oral steroids yet. Praying for healing and resolution. I’m also facing reality that with seven (8) wonderful blessings, and this time of year, germs prevail despite our extra doses of immune building defenses.
I haven’t updated this blog in six months. For many reasons… I miss writing, and keeping track of our wonderful Salisbury adventures. I probably don’t have any readers anymore, but this is my place, reflecting on life and the faithfulness of God. I desire to please only an audience of One, so that’s okay. I am now voice typing, so the writing will not be as eloquent as I would desire. But this is where I am in life, doing my best with what I can, at each moment – and right now that is using my phone to voice type. Trusting God, relying on his strength, and persevering. With that, I do hope to post more often.
I just deleted my Facebook off of my phone. I don’t feel I have abused Facebook, but I do find myself checking what’s going on more often than I would like to. It can be an escape. It does help to keep up with friends and prayer requests and the news. thankfully, I’ve used it more as a tool of communication and sharing photos with family and friends. Yet, tonight I was struck that Facebook will not matter much in 20 years – and those extra hugs, smiles, and listening that I could do while feeding the baby or lying next to my husband at night, has more abundant value.
Life here at the Salisbury household is alive and fun. We are very busy. In a new season of middle school years which requires more prayer and wisdom and definitely patience. I love every age of my children! We’ve accomplished much the school year, are doing well with studies, and music lessons and soccer. We enjoyed Thanksgiving, are fully decorated for the Christmas season, and have most gifts purchased and wrapped.
I am rambling.
I probably should just stop typing, or not click publish perhaps. I’m in a funk. Tonight I might contaminate your good attitude. I am balancing a fine line of contentment and discontentment. I don’t want to be sitting here against my bed with my sick baby. But that’s where God has me. My flesh was just grumbling that I would rather be at a Christmas party with friends…. Irv and the big boys are off to soccer games, and I was struggling with my joyfulness and attitude as I put the little five to bed. Tired. Selfish.
The Lord reminded me to practice Eucharisteo, thankfulness. I am purposing to do just that. My first thought was to get everyone to bed, eat some ice cream, scroll through Facebook, sleep and stay numb. Rather, I decided to delete Facebook off my phone, touch base here and chat with the Lord about my heart. Focus on advent, the Gift.
While things have been going well here and life is great, we are busy. And in the busyness, I can find myself numb. Going through the motions, managing chaos, meeting people’s needs, and dropping into bed at the end of the day. But I still can be numb. Not fully present in joy and heart.
I’ve been keeping very late hours up to 3 AM, getting up multiple times at night, tired, and then sleeping in and not up before children, which means I may awake to chaos. Missing exercise. Missing my quiet times. Not getting filled up with God, so I can pour out and serve those well around me. Lacking patience, lacking joy. Not eating healthy, feeling addicted to sugar. Want to be my friend? LOL.
But being honest, and putting it out on the screen is reality. Then with the Lords strength, I make a plan to persevere, to change, to take time to do the right things for myself and my God, so I can pour out and serve those around me. Which, is my chief desire – to do this life well to the glory of God, to Love and serve my husband and children and family.
I’m grateful for …… his mercies, new days, For Grace. For love, six month old babies, pacifiers, medicine to nebulize little ones when breathing is difficult. Blankey’s, seven-year-olds, drawing, my furnace, socks, snowflakes, mom’s help wrapping presents, online shopping, painted red toenails, forgiveness, God’s word, worship songs, unconditional love, health, ability to walk and run, children, tender hearts, teachable spirit, smiles and kisses from my little blessings …. And new advent book from ann voskamp.
Headed off for my late night quiet time … Chat soon !
Isaac just came over and wanted to tell a story into the phone too….. Voice typing!!!!
I’m drawing now and I’m going to sleep now so goodbye i’m thankful for my food, my home, and also thankful for my mom and dad , I’m thankful they can teach me how to read and do a lot of fun things and I’m thankful for my brothers to begin teaching how to play soccer and I like the little brothers, and I just hope that my baby Zion will help get better soon- in Jesus name – amen.