God’s plans … not mine

I stated a few weeks ago that my scheduled induction for May 17th was man’s best plans, unless God showed otherwise.

I imagined ‘otherwise’ to reveal an earlier birthdate.

Today, baby8 is still cooking. I feel really done.

Yesterday was rough. I’d made numerous arrangements affecting a multitude of people, completed my lengthy nesting-list , and I was shocked to have the birth cancelled today.

Thursday, I awoke at 4am feeling alert and ready for the day began. I headed to the store before 8am to finish up last minute shopping, picked up my sweet friend Kristina at 9:30, and arrived at hospital at ten.

I couldn’t remember what my amniocentesis with Judah had felt like, but as soon as the needle penetrated my belly it was too familiar! Ouch! Judah’s was a quick in and out, however, Salisbaby8 was about 3-5 minutes of intense pain. That’s a long time, friends! My uterus had a massive Contraction from the needle, and baby moved immediately into the needle and space the Doctor was Sampling from. I breathed purposefully, while my uterus remained contracted, and the doctor kept asking baby to move away! I had to focus on not passing out… It hurt.

After a few hours, Kristina and I went to lunch, yum … And enjoyed our girl time.

Dr. Grace called at 4:00 with the shocking news … Baby’s amniotic fluid didn’t pass the number showing his lungs were developed.

I had a tantrum and cried!

He’s 7-8 pounds, I’m hurting, and I’ve delivered multiple babies before this gestation. Speculation is my insulin shots have delayed lung development.

Irv had a meeting in the evening and I was so blessed to have two friends and children spontaneously hang out and provide dinner.

Irv returned home from his meeting and invited me on a 10:00pm date to Friendlys. We had fun, but didn’t sleep well, LOL.

I know God wants me to trust Him in the details.

So, I walk forward. I have another NST Monday. Possible baby-day Wednesday.

In the meantime, I’m praying about my new nesting-list.

I was planning to skip the garden planting this year, but today we purchased supplies and hope to plant this weekend as a family. We also hit some yard sales while we were out and I acquired some needed
baby items. A picnic at the park was a lovely break in the day … Just wonderful.

I attempted to attend the Ladies Dessert Fellowship at church tonight, but I returned home due to my regular, evening, intense mid-back pain.

This weekend holds sunshine, 4 soccer games for Ving at a tournament nearby, hopeful garden planting, church and naps!

I’m battling fear. Fear of the baby dying in my belly, fear of delivering unexpectly and unassisted like with Eden, fear of pain, and the fear of the unknown.

Just being honest. And, I’m not an anxious person! But it’s a battle.

Trusting God’s opening and closing of doors, His timing and His love.






Be Sociable, Share!

11 Comments on “God’s plans … not mine

  1. OH! Sorry that you have to keep waiting! I struggle with fears that something will happen to my baby too. I pray that God will give peace while you wait! I also have flowers to plant this weekend while we wait for this baby to come. I hope you go into labor soon, and that it is a nice slow labor!

  2. But not TOO slow of a labor! Just the right length. :)

  3. Love you. Praying. May God’s peace just cover and fill you.

  4. Love you Darci! As always, you post the most beautiful REAL heart_ no candy coating the fear, disappointment, pain you’re in but yet the beautiful beautiful humility of knowing that God’s plans are better and not always in “our time”, and the true FAITH in trusting Him! Praying for your strength and acceptance of God’s timing and for a wonderful healthy new Salisbury #8! Can’t wait to meet him and see the adorableness!

  5. I’ve been thinking about all day and praying for you. I kept wondering how things were going – we’ve been sooo excited for you guys! Hang in there – you’re an awesome mom and I understand your fears. I always get nervous at the end of my pregnancy and just want the baby out so I can know that everything is fine. Thanks for keeping us updated!

  6. Hey, I *am* an anxious person so I can identify with all your fears. :)

    It was you who advised me to battle anxiety with thankfulness. I have seen you do this already; it’s a great example to me!

    It is easy to wonder if God knows what He’s doing. Usually more obvious looking back!

    Praying for you!

  7. Praying for you Darcy, Peace & Trust, He is watching over you all

  8. C’mon, Baby#8! :) praying for peace, God’s will in all things, and healthy momma/baby.

  9. Thanks Sarah! Thanks for the encouragement :) Blessings to you, pray for you as the Lord leads – and when I see your smiling face on FB! Thank you for your example of a woman of GREAT faith!

  10. Thanks Friend! I know you know :) I haven’t clicked that link you sent long ago – so never on computer these days! Love to you all…

  11. THanks Tara for reminder! Counting my blessings, and even sang the song a couple times after reading your comment, yesterday!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>