Seven years ago today, I mothered, loved, and enjoyed my sweet Tucker for the last day, while Salisbaby4 grew inside me.
To imagine Tucker here, amongst this Salisbury brood – lifts a smile. “What it would be like?” It’s uttered often. “If Tucker was here: we’d have an even number for our teams, he’d do Bible Quiz with us, he’d sing in the Christmas concert at church too, we’d have a fourth grader to homeschool and go to CC with us, he’d play at the piano recital, and Hunter would no longer be unloading the dishwasher! Where would he sit in the big Salisbus van? We remember the 9.5 year old that would also be their buddy, when they play and love their 9 year old friends.
Today, I rise early, my preggers-ever-growing-baby8 body up for tea and quiet time. Seven years have passed. I write February 7th in this journal… and remember. It gets me reflecting on faith: our firm conviction of God’s existence (Hebrews 11:6), that “he rewards those who seek him” and God’s love.
I spend time today in Romans chapter 8. Romans 8:28 “We know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”
Reflecting on Tucker’s death, a seven year view, I’m in awe of the work God’s done in myself, Irv, and our family in becoming more like Jesus. My limited view of the affects of those around us is an amazing site.
I pray that all my children’s lives will bring God glory and that I’ll spend all eternity with every Salisbury seed, offspring, and descendant from now until the end of the ages. I praise God that one of my arrows, Tucker White Salisbury has been released – although too early in my earthly, human perspective; yet, perfect in God’s sovereignty and timing. In the darkness, in 2006 I couldn’t see or imagine the promises of Romans 8:28, but today I’ve witnessed and I’m grateful.
My Mama heart cries prayers of hope for the remaining arrows, growing in this quiver. May they be as grace filled and covered as Tucker – and may they also declare His glory as they take flight in the mighty paths God offers them.
As this Febuary 8th rolls around, my mind and body are all wrapped up in the stress and logistics of current trials. Much different than 2006, but stretching me the same. As I fight the survival mode of numbness and just doing the next thing, I pray and hope for more. May I live purposefully, experience, and appreciate each moment as a gift , to savor these times, slow down, be still, draw nearer to God – and know the I AM more. May I embrace the promises of Romans 8:28 once again, and recount and declare His mighty faithfulness.