homegrowing

I just received these photos today.  WOW.

I also had time to talk with Mom about the particulars.  Her testimony is amazing.    They say none of them should have survived.

Mom was in the back seat, unbuckled.  The back passenger seat was folded down, and Mom’s 65# suitcase was resting there.  The back hatch was full of groceries for Thanksgiving dinner.

After impact, Mom’s head was in the lap of the front drivers seat.  She believes that on inpact, her suitcase shot across and landed on her lap, and then she was projected forward.  The suitcase then acted like a wedge / pin across the opening to the front seats.  She was draped forward into the front over the suitcase.

While this projection and wedging did cause force to snap her two leg bones and break ribs at her sternum,  she believes it kept her from being ejected out the front glass or having a severe head injury.   I am amazed.   All the food in the back was broken / dented.  Mom’s head was preserved.

The Hummer was driven up onto the car.  It had to be put into reverse an driven off of Mom’s car.

I’m praising God for protecting her life.   I am trusting Him to use this for His good purpose and glory.

Someday it will all be revealed.  For now I am trusting Him with great anticipation.

He’s got the whole world in His hands …. despite the outcomes or circumstances.

If you think of it, please keep my Mom and Dad in your prayers.  Pray they would enjoy their time together and be drawn closer to Jesus.

I’ve am driving more cautiously.  I ordered Eden Grace a new big girl carseat from Britax with side impact technology.  I plan to follow the rules, and leave it rear facing for 20# an one year.   I am going to check all my other carseats for recalls.   I’m cracking down on big kids moving about the passenger van as I drive, and distractions.   I am guitly of phone / email use at an occasional lull in traffic or red light …. sorry, I confess.

HE’s got the whole world in HIS hands, but please join me in safety awareness!  What can you do to be more responsible on the road?

Any confessions?  (click comment…. hehe)

Eden Grace, sporting her fall outfit from Grammie….

Thanksgiving, full of love.  We enjoyed family, fellowship, and all the fixings…  We have so much to give thanks for…

Mom is doing well.  She is home today at her apartment in Florida.  Her therapy will continue there and she is all outfitted with an electronic recliner, commode, wheelchair, etc.   Thank you for your prayers.  I could see answered prayer so clearly!  She had some wonderful caring nurses the last days there.   She was able to get off the oxygen,  the pneumonia is improving,  and after two blood transfusions her blood counts are too.  She is injecting herself daily with a blood thinner to help prevent blood clots.

We are all adjusting to the fact that she is not coming home this week.  She will not come home until late April….  we will miss her for Christmas!

Mom reports God is moving greatly in her heart, with spiritual renewal! Amen.

I thank God for His mighty works in her life!

This Thanksgiving, I’m thankful for many things, but especially my Mom.   I’m thankful to the Lord that He continues to sustain her precious life, and didn’t choose to move her to Heaven this past Sunday.

I’m thankful she’s MY mom.

I miss her, a lot.   I miss her more than I think I ever have.   I miss you Mom!

If you think to add her to your Thanksgiving prayers, I’d be grateful.

As I type this, she is lying in a hospital bed, far away in Florida.   My heart cries to be there with her, yet I know family members are coming and going, and that her  (and my) Jesus promises to never leave her nor forsake her.

This past Sunday evening around 7PM,  Mom was a passenger in the backseat of my cousins little white car.   My cousin was driving and my aunt was in the front passenger seat.  On a quick drive to Wal-Mart,  a young boy driving his father’s Hummer made a left turn into a gas station, driving directly into the driver’s door while the little white car drove full speed ahead in there lane.

It is a miracle that all three of them are alive.   They were removed from the vehicle by emergency personnel,  sent to a local hospital and transferred to a bigger hospital.

Mom broke two bones in her leg and had fast surgery.  She is healing, but still suffering with many bruises and contusions, as well as  three broken ribs, 2,3,5 at her sternum.   Yesterday she developed pneumonia due to not taking big breaths, started antibiotics, and needed a blood transfusion.   She is in lots of pain and not receiving efficient loving care from the hospital staff.

It all just makes me cry.

Praying, and hoping to get to see her soon!

Before my Dad jumped on the plane to head down there,  he stopped by so we could send a poster for her wall and our Ipod with speaker.  She is enjoying the 24/7 worship music.   I know that comforts her, and that makes me happy.

It breaks my heart to see her lying in a hospital bed and that I am not there.   Yet, I see that I am to  be here, now.   Other than wanting to be in Heaven with Tucker, I can’t think of a time in my life where I longed so deeply  to be in two places at the same time.

This Thanksgiving, join me in praying for all those suffering, in pain, lonely, and lying in hospital beds or homes, or those spending this day  without their loved ones around their table.

Sunday evening, while we were waiting for phone calls updating her status, the big boys made these letters for Grammie by bending wire…  I know, the pics aren’t great….  but Grammie, they are for you!

Happy Thanksgiving sweet friends…. make sure you give all your loved ones a big hug!  Sweet Blessings….

“…for the joy of the LORD is your strength.” Nehemiah 8:10b (NIV)

As we drove to church this morning, I asked Irv some questions regarding “The joy of the LORD is my strength.” I know my joy is from the Lord, and not things or circumstances. We’re enduring life because of Jesus, yet I don’t FEEL STRONG these days, or even these past years.

2006 brought grief that Jesus carried us through, and these recent days are tiresome and full of change as we make choices to be obedient to Christ and follow Him.

Today, November 9th, marks the first day that our sweet Tucker has lived more “earth days” with Jesus, than with us. Significant to my heart. I rejoice for Tucker being in eternity with Jesus, yet my mommy heart misses him so much.

As we finished our drive to church, I pondered that this strength Nehemiah is referring to is not a feeling. Jesus is enough, without anything else. The joy is from clinging to Him, and it is the strength that carries us through our faith journey. We don’t have to FEEL the strength, it just is.

I was blessed to be in church today. Wonderful worship. Wonderful preaching… direct into my heart.

As pastor taught, the the Holy Spirit reminded me of God’s great faithfulness in my life.

1) The practice of thankfulness

When life crashed down on me, as I suffocated in grief and despair, in the mud and the mire, God met me like never before. I flashed back: curled into a ball on the floor of my bedroom closet, desiring death and Heaven, gasping for air as I cried and cried. No words, only prayers of moans, with the occasional words “Help me Jesus”. (Now, I call these grief attacks help-me-Jesus-prayers.)

After pouring out all that I had before the Lord, He gently prodded me to be thankful. This repeated occasion after occasion. As I would gain my ability to speak, I would speak out loud everything I was thankful for. I didn’t want to live, and there was not a thankful thought in my body. However, the Holy Spirit helped me… “thank you for these shoes, thank you for these clothes, thank you for my toilet, thank you for….” What began as thanking Him for what was visibly before my eyes, transformed into noticing His provisions of every detail for our family’s needs, God’s grace, mercy, and faithfulness, His presence, His power. Speaking words of thankfulness out loud transformed my heart, mind, and miraculously brought my spirit joy amidst the pain. This is a great lesson that I try to carry with me – the practice of stopping amidst the craziness of life and speaking my thankfulness to the Lord. It is miraculous.

2) I have no greater joy than to know my children walk in truth

I cried as Pastor shared his heart today about his children’s salvation. He cried. I was moved. The gentleman behind me was sobbing. I cried as I agreed and remembered the reality in my heart.

Two weeks before Tucker died, we went to the movie theater to view “The End of the Spear”. As the credits rolled, I sobbed. I spoke to the Lord and those around me: “This is what I am raising my boys for. Not for Harvard, but to serve Jesus with their lives. If they become a young missionary and die, serving Christ, Heaven bound, what greater hope can I have for them? For my boys to give their lives for Christ!” I was greatly moved, and reminded of my greatest goal.

Approximately two weeks after Tucker died, during a grief attack in my closet, conversing with Jesus in help-me-Jesus-prayer-style, the Lord suddenly reminded me of the movie and my prayer / comment. “This Lord? This is not what I meant! He as only here for almost 3 years!” I prayed. The Lord comforted my soul with Psalm 40:3b “Many will see, and fear, and put their trust in the Lord”. My prayer in that movie theater, for Tucker’s eternity had been answered. Although my heart ached, I could trust God and rejoice in the truth that Tucker was in Heaven because of Jesus, and his short life was glorifying the Lord, just as I prayed for only weeks before. Great is His faithfulness!

I cried tears today as I thanked the Lord for Tucker being safe in the arms of Jesus. I cried tears for my other four little men (and another on the way)…. may they accept and fall under the grace of Jesus, keep their hearts tender toward the Lord, and be great warriors for Christ. Oh, there is no greater hope or joy!

3) gospel of grace

I cried and thanked the Lord for His gospel of grace. I am thankful to hear it preached from the pulpit week after week. I need to hear it. I pray for all the ears and hearts it pierces, that they too will rejoice and say YES to Him.

When we arrived home, I found my weekly missionary newsletter from the Smiths in my inbox. More hugs from the Lord and reminders of His faithfulness. Scriptures that pierced and comforted my heart: His word does not return void! His ways and thoughts are so much higher than mine! Lean not on my own understanding, but in all my ways acknowledge Him and He will direct my paths! Then, for the first time since it was read at Tucker’s funeral…. I saw the poem, He Maketh No Mistake at the bottom of her email. All a reminder and gift to me today, from Jesus.

HE MAKETH NO MISTAKE

My Father’s way may twist and turn,

My heart may throb and ache,

But in my soul I’m glad I know,

He maketh no mistake.

My cherished plans may go astray,

My hopes may fade away,

But still I’ll trust my Lord to lead,

For He doth know the way.

The night be dark and it may seem,

That day will never break,

I’ll pin my faith my all in HIM,

He maketh no mistake.

There’s so much now I cannot see,

My eyesight far too dim.

But come what may, I’ll simply trust

And leave it ALL to Him.

For by and by the mist will lift, And plain it all He’ll make

Through all the way, though dark to me

He Made not ONE mistake.

Felt led to share my ramblings of praise and thankfulness.
Sweet blessings!

Today I am thankful for life. I am tanked up on Jesus! I’ve seen much of His Kingdom activity this week, and for that I am blessed and feeling alive.

I just had a bout of continuous singing. Praise. It was overwhelming. Over and over as I rocked the baby, smooshing his check close to mine, and singing…

The joy of the LORD, is my strength! The joy of the Lord is my strength. The joy of the LORD is my strength … the joy of the LORD is my strength.

He gives me living water and I thirst no more! He gives me living water and I thirst no more. He gives me living water and I thirst no more…

The Joy of the Lord is my strength.

I sang, rocked, and enjoyed watching my big boys and daddy do a Friday night spelling bee. They love it. It is fun, and a result of a busy Friday. (My fellow home schoolers know that means we didn’t do our written spelling tests today! It’s good to change it up.)

I’ve lost a few more pounds, for a total of 13. I pray I never find them.

I remained faithful to myfooddiary.com this week. I went over on calories some days, but it was a result of eating out. For restaurants I think I did well. In the beginning of this journey, I was concerned I may be too legalistic about the calorie thing, and that has not happened. That’s a good thing, but it would help me lose more if I was!

The food diary is $9.00 a month, and has been a great tool. Restaurants and Wegmans are included, and all I have to do is enter the items I eat. It automatically finds the nutritional information, and I click on it, and it adds to my daily selections. (recently I learned about another site that is free and I’ll have to check it out soon, thanks april!)

This is educational on the reality of caloric summations. Today, I ordered a barbeque GRILLED chicken wrap at Red Robin, what I considered a very healthy option, and it totaled 1200 calories. That’s just crazy. I will be eating at home as much as possible.

I embrace my choices as a journey to wellness, and feel called to be picking up my mat – making choices for wellness. This includes mind, body, and soul. This week was heavy on the spirit – the utmost importance.