homegrowing

I have been ignoring you, please forgive me.

As I teach my kids, when apologizing, we should admit our wrongs…

“I was wrong for __________, please forgive me.”

I do apologize for ignoring you, but I don’t think it was a “wrong”.

You see, my uglies have been coming out.

Like, in a really bad way.

Therefore, I’ve been trying to not infect too many people.

We all have our uglies.   They rear their ugly head and require the taming of the Holy Spirit.

Last week  while driving, K-LOVE spoke Psalm 19:14 and it pierced my soul.

Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.

I continue to parked on this verse.  It convicts me, and speaks pause and shut-up to my spazzing response to the chaos surrounding me.   He is my strength and Redeemer.

While I purpose to guard my words,  I’ve really been struggling with the meditations of my heart and my thoughts.  They just get going and going, and then the emotions and words seem to be a ticking-time-bomb, erupting without warning.   Sin, sin, sin.

When words are many, sin is not absent,  but he who holds his tongue is wise. Proverbs 10:19

I am processing my emotions and asking the Lord to give me insight and wisdom.   I acknowledged the emotion of anger  a lot today, and was struggling to decide whom I should be angry at.  Like, it must be towards someone, right?  I debated my options of whom.

The heaviness of the chaos, change, and impending stress pressed down upon me.   I sat in my recliner, and felt a physical weight of the burden, as if I couldn’t get out of my chair.   On the verge of cracking.   I knew I couldn’t go one more second without pouring it all out to Jesus and filing up with the peace that only God can provide.

In grief, I’ve learned the power of  pouring it all out at the foot of the cross, being real.  Practicing the acts of praise and thanksgiving, regardless of my circumstances.    Making the list of all I have to be thankful for.  Speaking truth to myself of God, His sovereignty, and His plans for me.   Singing.   I first learned this lesson, curled in a ball,  sitting on my closet floor.   When all I could see was my toilet and sink… “Thank-you God for  water and a toilet.  And for clothes….and my other kids….and….”   Yup, as simple as that.  The power of thanksgiving changes our perspective.     Reminding myself of who I am and who God is.

Today, my sweet time with Jesus changed my perspective and enabled me to “do” the tasks before me.

I was filled and tamed by the Holy Spirit.

I confess, I needed a refill soon after.   My uglies came out repeatedly.  By evening,  I wanted to go to sleep, for.a.very.long.time!     Funny, now I am up at 2am unable to sleep.

Off to go pour out and fill up some more.   Sing.  Praise.  Practice thankfulness.

Goodnight sweet friends.    With my lack of posts this month, I  didn’t want you to worry about me.

No worries, just feeling chaos and  a bad case of the uglies.    Trying not to share the germs, being contagious and all.

Grateful for your prayers…

These past weeks, my main prayer and belief has been that we would “hear from God” regarding our move / sale / purchase  of  homes.

I don’t have details to share,  as  this life-chapter is still unfolding.   But I must thank you for your prayers for action.

Buyers, talks, decisions to be made, and final steps to take.   Please continue to pray!

We’ve heard… and I’m so crazy excited that I have to share.

Yesterday morning, the Biggies and I were doing Special Time with Mom at our homeschool table.   We are discussing the character trait and fruit of the Spirit, patience, this month.   At the end of our devotional for Patience at Home, there were two verse references noted.  I assigned them to the boys to look up in their Bibles and we them read them aloud and discussed their application.   As Ving read,  I felt God’s Word penetrate my heart.  I immediately grabbed my sticky note pad and carefully wrote the verse down as he repeated it a few times.

Psalm 37:7  Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for Him to act.

Mid-day and again in the evening, I asked Ving where my stickie-note verse went.  We couldn’t find it, so I planned to find it or look it up again later.   Evening passed and I went to bed.

This Tuesday morning during my quiet time,  I wrote in my prayer journal.  It helps me to write my thoughts and emotions out to God, and I was on a roll.  There are occasional scriptures on the pages in the margins, and I was trying to write around one verse.   I was prompted to stop and read it, and to honest this isn’t a normal habit for me.  I tend to just keep writing away.   My heart did a little gallop as the words jumped off the page, and I  read it again and again…

Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait paitiently for Him to act.  Psalm 37:7

We’ve been believing we would hear from God, and have been fighting anxiety of decisions with the time passing.

Wow.  I knew I was hearing from God.   I went out to the kitchen to find Irv with the boys.

“Hey, you know what, I think I just heard from God!” I announced.  (That definetly got their attention.)

I shared my double verse revelation, and Irv looked it up in his BIble and read it aloud.

As he was reading, I got this crazy idea….

Sunday night, while desiring to blog with you all, I forced myself to clean up my  inbox with 500 emails dating back to June.  I printed some prayer requests and things to put in my folder to use during my quiet time.   On Monday I discovered that due to a printer issue, I had many blank print-outs reading “data not found”.    I assumed it was a divine act in providing me less papers to keep, and moved on without my printouts.

But, as Irv was reading the verse aloud,  God brought one particular email to my mind.   I couldn’t remember the fine details, but I told Irv we had to go search through my email trash bin and find it an email from J.M.  We headed to the computer room…

We finally found this short, obedient email from December 20th!

“The Lord put this chapter number in my head for you this morning, when I was driving over. I forgot to tell you. I don’t even know what the chapter says but I need to be faithful to relay it to you. Psalm 37″ -J.M.

I told you I am crazy excited.  All day I was singing… we’ve heard from God!  We’ve heard from God!  I mean, come on people, I can’t make this stuff up!  I don’t remember ever reading Psalm 37 before!  Of all the verses in the Bible (31,102), there is no coincidence,  just GOD-INCIDENCE, that without me even looking, all three of them were placed before me, so the Creator of the Universe could speak HOPE, LOVE, and ASSURANCE into our hearts.

I wrote out the scripture and hung it on the fridge.  Praise God.  He cares and hears.  Thank-you for praying.

Three o’clock finally arrived and I made it to quiet hour.   As I laid on the couch,  I told God “I’m being still in Your presence and waiting (and trusting) for You to act.”    I talked to Him about how I knew He was there, thanked Him for revealing Himself to us in a mighty,  exciting way.   I thanked Him for the assurance that He is with us and acting on our behalf with so many details beyond our control.

Then I got to thinking… I prayed and believed that we would “hear from God”.   And yes, I could see that we just had!  But as usual, my prayers aren’t answered in ways I imagine.    I had prayed that we would hear from God, meaning it would be obvious to us what directions to take with decisions.    So what now?   I heard from God, and He told me to be still in His presence and wait patiently for Him to act!   Just.Like.God.    He’s got it all in control and working things out greater than I could ever ask or imagine.

It’s Wednesday night and I’m still crazy excited just typing this out!  I’m encouraged to keep believing God and asking to hear from Him in so many areas of my life.  I know He speaks to us always as we read His Word, and we must be in it.   But, it’s exciting to know He loves fellowshipping with us so much that He reveals Himself to us in so many different ways….

And, I imagine He likes my little, I’ve-heard-from-God-crazy-excited-dance, too.

I’m purposing to be still in His presence,  praying for help to wait patiently, and knowing and believing that HE will act!

What’s He got you dancing, singing, and praising Him about these days?

…. I am asking for prayer this week.
We are making life-changing decisions regarding moving.

1.  Please pray for the families that are seeing our home this weekend:  Saturday Noon, Sunday 2:30, Monday 4:00.  And any other families that have seen our home in the past or ones wanting to still see it.  That they all, would now have a decision, either way, and take  action regarding our home that is for sale.

2. Pray that Irv and I would hear from God.  God would clearly show YES or NO on decisions that we are making in regard to moving, this week.

3.  We will glorify God in our decisions, and hear His voice.

HE knows the exact places where we should live…

Thanks!
Believing GOD,
Darci

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”  Philippians 4:6-7

Lord, I’m anxious this morning.   I’m up early, my tummy is queasy, and I’m not pregnant.

Not pregnant, just moving soon.   Somewhere, someplace.

My Jesus, YOU are near.

I bring everything to to You.  In prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, I present my anxiety to you.

My heart’s requests.   My fears of the unknown.  My resistance to change.  The details of this home sale and moving us all and our stuff elsewhere, somewhere.

Thank You for the promise of Your Word.  Thank You for the promise that the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus.

I need that this morning.  I claim it.    I’m sharing my requests and clinging to You.

Just as you went before me, guarded me, healed me and filled me with the peace of the God that transcends all understanding in Tucker’s death and grief …. You go before me now.

I trust and thank You for Your perfect timing in our home sale and move.  We take it off the market after 14 months, and we get an offer.   Just when we are content to stay put,  the door is opened again.   Although the sale is contingent on their home selling,  I believe You’ve prepared my heart for us to be moving this winter.

I trust You will continue to work out all the details.  You always do.   Hindsight reflects Your faithfulness.  I walk in faith.   You are faithful  this very second, even if my feelings and queasy tummy try to tell me otherwise.

I trust You with my unknowns…

“Then you will know which way to go, since you have NEVER been this way before.” Joshua 3:4a (NIV)

I walk in faith for Your perfect plan and sovereignty over my family.   Lead Irv.  Help me to follow.  Help me to honor You in my actions.

I want to feel Your presence today as we look at our housing options.  I want to see You all over it.

Help me to be still,  be quiet, and not be anxious or mean.

I desire Your perfect plans for my family.  I want my kids planted exactly where You have for them to grow in You.

You got all the details covered. 

“From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and He determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live.” Acts 17:26

Thank you for loving me.  Thank you for all your blessings and provisions.

May I please You today in my actions, words, and deeds.

In Jesus’ Name,

Amen.

To much of the world, today, October 31st, has been a long awaited day for candies and costumes.   For three home-growing boys,  October 31st has been long awaited as well.    But not for Halloween -  for the day our home sale listing expired.  They awoke, announcing to dad that today is the day to fulfill his promise,  “If our house hasn’t sold by October 31st, we will build our treehouse.”

Yummy waffles, followed by family snuggles  on the covered porch, and a gentle rain welcomed the early morning.    The Treehouse book was out and the pages were being scoured.     A big trip to Lowes for supplies and the day was encompassed with all the boys working in the pine tree forest on our back hill.   Ving, the photo journalist will be sharing his documentations with you soon!

14 months.

Nearly 50 preparations and showings.

The listing has expired again.   But this time, the sign is gone.   It’s just a break, but  very welcomed.

The past 14 month journey has been a roller-coaster experience.   I’ve cried to leave memories behind,  I’ve fretted and been anxious of our next steps,  wondered as my pregnancy progressed, birth arrived, postpartum showings, and now it’s nearly Thanksgiving, again.

We’ve had offers, accepted, they’ve fallen through,  multiple interested buyers, repeat showings, … and here we still are.

We started this journey, feeling divinely directed to sell our home.  We walked in obedience.   A lot has changed and much time has passed.    We do love it here, it is wonderful.  Yet, with our growing family, we’d like a home that accommodates our family better in multiple facets.    And, we need a break.

I’m relieved to have a break from preparing our home and keeping it in an unrealistic-HGTV-showing condition.   I’m enjoying the kids photos back on the mantel, and looking forward to the scripture index cards and sticky-notes  finding their more permanent locations around the house.

I’m thankful that we, as a family, gave our very best – 150%, to walk in obedience to prepare and sell our home.

I’m looking forward to Eden’s new-to-us-Craiglist-crib that is  being delivered tomorrow.  She will take up residence in the mini-bedroom we are creating for her in the corner of our room.   Good-bye bassinet, and mommy will miss those cute feet dangling over the side onto my mattress.

In some ways, I’m thankful that the Lord has seen fit to thus far keep us planted here.  I’ve  AGAIN learned to not hold things of earth tightly.   Yet, I still believe and feel in my heart that we will hear, any day, that an offer is here … and we will move on.  Somewhere.  Somewhere.  It feels inevitable.

I thank all of you who have prayed and offered assistance in preparing our home for selling.   We couldn’t have done it without you!  I thank the Lord that for every single showing making all the details and help work out as we needed.  You LORD are so faithful.

We will live and bloom where we are planted.   For now, that’s here.   We will continue with our plans to make applesauce,  science flubber,  cook a turkey,  decorate the house to celebrate Christ’s birth,  and build that treehouse.

I close with this promise from His Word that has encouraged my heart…  Acts 17:26:

“From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and He determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live.“